Valenwinds vs Jaegerjaquez
by Harusaki
Summary: WARNING! Mpreg ahead! The Valentine-Highwind family meet the Jaegerjaquez family. Much Crack and weirdness ensues. I don't really have a set plot for this story. I'm kinda just spilling the milk and watching where it runs.


Ko is my own original character, so no stealing! Dante and Anise belong to misumisu84 from LiveJournal. They are used with her permission.

Small World 

Chapter 1

"Do we have to go?" it was more a plea than a question.

Cid grinned and pulled a reluctant Vincent Valentine into his arms, squeezing him against his strong chest reassuringly. " Awww, it won't be so bad, bat. Just think, it isn't often we run into other families as weird as us. Besides, they're offering dinner!"

" Is that supposed to be comforting."

"Well, it was an attempt anyway."

" You know, there is a modern term for such attempts."

" Hm?"

" Epic Fail."

" Awww, bat, thats just mean!"

" The truth is never easy is it." Vincent attempted to pry himself away from Cid, a task not easily done, mostly because Cid wasn't quite ready to relinquish his hold on the gunman just yet.

" Come on bat." the Airman pleaded. " I really think we should go to this."

Vincent finally squirmed free and folded his arms over his chest. " You know I hate visiting strangers. In fact, I can predict how this meeting will go. After everyone is introduced, they'll want to know all about us. Of course, once they find out that I'm actually not a woman, that you married some hermaphroditic lab experiment and that both our children have wings, they'll be utterly horrified. After that of course things will become so awkward that we'll end up leaving fifteen minutes later. Just like the last three times we tried making new friends."

Cid cringed under the dark glare from his husband and busied himself with attempting to get four year old Dante, the oldest of their two children, into a little jacket and boots. " I know, but I really think that these ones are different."

Vincent wasn't convinced. Expertly he snared their smallest child, Anise, barely three and already flying, as she sailed by over his head. She hissed and growled as he captured her and then stuffed her unceremoniously into a little black coat with embroidered bats on the sleeves. Her large wings popped out of slits cut in the back only a second later, and she would have taken off again had he not held onto her. " And just what makes you say that, Highwind?"

Dante was finally bundled up and Cid straightened. He checked his watch. It was almost time to go, still, they were taking one of his smaller airships, so there wasn't too much need to panic. They would get there a little bit early. They had two cars, but they almost never used either of them. Cid much preferred flying to driving, and bat hadn't known how to drive anyway. Then Vincent had become pregnant and had refused to leave the house in anything but the comfort of the airship. Cid hadn't minded in the least; After all, when one's husband and children all had wings of their own it was really the only way that they could all fly together as a family. Cid knew that Vincent appreciated the airship, not only because it was so much bigger and faster, but also because it meant a quicker getaway when these social 'outings' got tense. " Well, because when I met them at the supermarket we got talking and I found out that they were both male ."

That got Vincent's attention. He tucked himself deeper into the collar of the long black trench coat he was wearing, cardinal eyes glowing suspiciously over the top. " Male, you say? How do you know one of them wasn't simply a manly chic?"

Cid picked up a squirming Dante and held the front door open for Vincent and their daughter, locking it behind them and then following as they headed for the waiting airship on the landing strip. Cid reflected again, on how glad he was that they had moved out of Kalm and onto this large plot of land. It had enabled him to do so much for his airship business, and had given Vincent all the privacy he so loved." Well, because they told me so."

" Hm. We shall see I suppose."

" Why did you invite them." intoned the pale, slender man as his larger and less delicate lover hacked at a pile of Chocobo steaks in an attempt to cut them small enough to fit on the barbeque.

The blue haired man swung the axe with relish, splitting a steak in two and sending both pieces flying off the table and onto the grass. " Because! I'm getting damn tired of sitting around this goddess-forsaken countryside! There isn't anyone to visit or talk to except you, and that doesn't count for a lot because you hardly ever say a thing!

_Bang! Wack! Wack!_

Two more steaks were sundered apart and went flying; the blue haired man 'harrumphed' and retrieved them. His smaller lover said nothing for a moment, and it was impossible to tell from the entirely expressionless face whether or not anything the blue-haired man had said had offended him or not.

With an utter lack of emotion , the smaller man straightened from the patio table he was setting ( with fine china) and spoke. " I don't think you're supposed to cut steaks with an axe Grimmjow."

The blue haired man ignored him, placing the wayward steaks on a plate and then setting his axe aside. " I'll cut em anyway I damn please, Ulquiorra. Besides, its guys we're inviting over. Its not like any of them will care how their meat was cut. I think you're the only guy I know who is that particular."

" Perhaps." Came the impassive reply.

For a few minutes there was relative silence as Gimmjow checked his watch and then turned the barbeque up a notch. Their guests would be arriving any minute. He would start cooking the meat once they got there.

Ulquiorra finished setting the table and then went inside the house through the sliding doors, returning a few minutes later with a small, two year old baby in his arms. The little bundle was dozing, and never awoke when his mother cradled him to his chest and placed a gentle kiss on the pale forehead with soft black lips. A gentle breeze came up the hill in front of their house through the trees, filling the air with that sweet, grassy sent of summer. Ulquiorra turned to face it, presenting his back to his husband, oblivious of the breathtaking picture he made.

It was around 5:30pm, and the sun was dulling in the sky, yet still very warm and bright. It shrouded the man with a warm, ethereal glow. The breeze ruffled his light summer Kimono and black waist sash gingerly, carefully, as if it was asking for permission to touch him. The kimono, a pale cream, sported patterns of mystical green, never really forming any picture in particular, yet alluding to something mysterious, like a secret that could never be told. On his feet he wore black Tabi socks and delicate green sandals, his favorite foot wear.

Grimmjow watched the whole scene quietly, his harsh, though handsome face softening visibly. He came to stand behind his husband, carefully wrapping his muscular arms around the willowy form and kissed the top of his head, inhaling the sweet scent of pine and mountains from the thick, ink black tresses. The baby gurgled softly in his sleep and Grimmjow caressed his cheek with a finger.

"Do you really find me that much of a bore to be around?" The softly spoken question caught Grimmjow off guard. He straightened, frowning.

" What?"

" Earlier. You mentioned that I wasn't much fun to talk to." The smaller man twisted around in his lover's arms and looked up at him, piercing him with the largest, most beautiful emerald eyes the world had ever seen, the cat slit pupils contracting to mere slivers.

Grimmjow flinched, recalling his carelessly spoken words instantly. " O yeah. Gee, uh, sorry about that, Ulqui. You know me, I just speak without thinking, thats all. I didn't mean it that way I swear. It just came out. I just...need to see some more people, you know, someone aside from just US. You need it too, you just won't admit it."

" Often the words we speak without thinking are the ones that bear the most truth. The most insight to our deepest thoughts."

"Damn I hate it when you get all philosophical on me. It makes me feel like a real ass."

" You are a real ass."

" Well thank you kindly!"

" You're welcome."

They fell silent for a moment, just gazing into each-other's eyes. What Ulquiorra was thinking was anyone's guess, even after five years living with him Grimmjow was nowhere close to being able to read him. Well, he could a little, but nowhere close to the level he wanted.

Grimmjow sighed, reaching out a thumb to stroke the emerald tear tracks that permanently adorned Ulqiorra's unnaturally white cheeks. Many people mistook them for tattoos, but they weren't. Ulquiorra had been born with them, but it left him permanently emo looking. Because of them, he always looked sad, as though he was locked in the depths of some otherworldly sorrow. Of course it didn't help that the smaller man almost never smiled, and a laugh was as rare as Mithril, and every bit as precious.

The baby gurgled in Ulquiorra's arms and started to squirm, slowly awakening, large blue eyes opening wide to stare up at his parents. The eyes he had inherited from his father, but the hair, black as jet, was definitely Ulquiorra, as was the marking on the boy's face. Unlike Ulquiorra, who had two tear track markings, Ko, ( Ulquiorra had named him) only had one on his left cheek, and it was blue rather than green. And he was absolutely adorable!

For a second the baby didn't move, then his face split with a huge baby grin and he smiled, baring pointed teeth at his adoring father and mother.

Grimmjow smiled and took the baby from his lover and cradled him on his shoulder, gently rubbing his back. The last time he had really seen his lover laugh was when their little baby was born and Ulquiorra had held him in his arms for the first time. It was then, and only then, that Grimmjow had thought he could see tears pooling in smaller man's emerald eyes.

The baby squirmed some more and blew bubbles, and Ulquiorra took him back gently, kissing the soft black hair. " I think I'll get him fed before the guests arrive." He carried the baby back inside the house, but not before leaning in and planting a soft kiss on the piece of hollow mask on the right side of Grimmjow's jaw. The bone white mask itself resembled the jaw of some beast, pointed fangs glinting in the sunlight. A constant reminder of their Spirit Hollow origins. Ulquiorra's own Hollow mask was much larger, a broken helmet shape that covered the left side of his head, a single horn jutting from its side. Ulquiorra usually covered his with an illusion when interacting with anyone else aside from Grimmjow, but today, Grimmjow had suggested that they allow their guests to see them as they truly were.

He had gotten a feeling when talking with the Airman at the supermarket that somehow, this guy was different from the rest of the general populace. Maybe it was the greasy clothes, or the stupid grin on his face, or maybe it was the fact that when Ulquiorra had commented on the beauty of his wedding ring that the man had unashamedly started bragging about his own husband_._ ( that part had startled them both, but in a good way) The man had also reacted well towards Ko, commenting on how cute he was and so on. He also didn't seem to mind their own appearance at all. In fact, he never said a word about it; not about Ulquiorra's deathly white skin and facial markings, nor about Grimmjow's electric blue hair.

Grimmjow dared to harbor the hope that maybe he and Ulquiorra were not as alone as he had once thought. Maybe by revealing themselves a little bit, they might gain some much needed friends. If not, well, it wasn't like they hadn't been treated as monsters before.

Ulquiorra had always handled such things rather well. _' after all, I suppose we really are monsters. Its not every creature that can live with a hollow hole right through its body and never die. Only true monsters can do that. Should we really be so upset when they teat us like one? It is what we are after all.' Ulquiorra had said after one such unpleasant incident._

Grimmjow turned back to his barbeque and frowned. Though his lover seemed to have accepted such things as fact, Grimmjow himself had so far been unable to accept it. He had a feeling that if anyone dared to call him or his lover and child a 'monster' again, he would rip their bloody heads right off their shoulders.

" Lets hope you're all you seem to be, Cid Highwind." he muttered.


End file.
